I've been strongly encouraged by many of my artists friends to get a facebook page.
These friends are also working artists
They need to sell in order to continue doing what they love.
They have face book pages.
And so do I.
In fact I have three of them.
One I want...so I know a little of what friends and family are doing..
as one of my daughters told me after I'd asked one too many questions about her life...
''if you want to know what I'm doing Mom, go to my FB page.''
The second one is a fan page...
the one I should put art news on as well as pictures of my Spirit Figures..
and I want this one too.
The third?....that was a mistake...
I think I must have created it at 3 or 4 am and just don't remember doing it,
why I would I since I already had two.
I'm thinking of facebook today because I know that I'm going to be strongly encouraged to get my fan page up and running again very soon.
And because I know it is something I really do need to do...
There are three things that seem to stand in my way of actually doing it though
1. I have password issues...
Very often it won't let me in..
There is a julie Micthell in Chico, CA. and facebook insists she is me and won't let me in because my password isn't her password, nor will it let me, find me.
frustrating...we go round and round and I give up.
2. I can't get rid of the third mystery page. There are people there wanting to be friends and I don't want to friend them to a page I'm not going to tend...so they hang there in limbo...ignored...makes me feel guilty.
And there seems to be no way to delete it and it's the one that I get taken to when I search myself trying to find the page I do want.
3. If I should somehow get lucky and break through to the page I like, I can't seem to find my fan page, and by then I'm just to bummed to do anything but read what others have posted.
I bought the book Facebook for Dummies, or maybe it was Facebook for Idiots...doesn't matter...and it seems that I am both an idiot and a dummy when it comes to this stuff.
Apparently the things I need to know are so basic they didn't even bother to mention it in the book. Like how to delete a page.
I can't find the book now...it's somewhere where books I deem useless end up
.....and now I want it....but now FB has changed the layout..
I'm gathering courage to do this...
be a Facebooker.
I have to...I have to overcome this frustration. I've stopped even trying to get in to see what that daughter of mine is really up too and I hate hearing it from people I know, who know both of us.....
I should at least be in the loop
So wish me luck
I'm gathering courage.
“I can’t believe THAT!” said Alice.
Can’t you?” said the Queen in a pitying tone. “Try again: draw a long breath, and shut your eyes.”
Alice laughed. “There’s no use trying,” she said, “one can’t believe impossible things.”
I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why sometimes I believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!”
For several curious reasons my sleep pattern has been sort of turned upside down.
I'm usually closing my eyes to sleep around 3 or 4 am and it's alright.
I like the night
I like the quiet
I like that my phone doesn't ring
I need around 6 hours sleep to feel rested, so I'm not what would be called an early morning riser.
But the other morning I got up early to walk with a friend.
We've been friends for a long time but rarely get to spend time together
So when the offer to meet and walk and do a little talking was made I couldn't say no
I wanted to spend time.
We both had lot's to share since our last coming together.
I got up, bundled up, and headed to town were we would meet to get some coffee and pastries to take up to the lake where we would walk.
Three hours later we were saying good bye...
Feeling pretty good about life
We had solved all our problems as well as all the problems facing society today
Pretty cool, huh?
I love to walk and talk...
I'm not a big talker in the first place and I have a quiet voice that's sometimes not heard in a group.
I'm not big on sitting and talking either
I like to snuggle up and talk...you know, pillow talk
but my favorite way to talk about real stuff is while walking
Have you ever noticed how freeing it is...how the energy flows?
The right words come
How it's easier to listen.
How it's easier to listen.
How negativity can be diffused by the sight of a wildflower or a rock shining in the sun.
Have you noticed how nice it is to walk with a friend and feel the breeze.
Nice to sit down on a log together and just be silent.
Taking it in...nature
and the friendship.
I thought a lot about rather or not to tell you about this....
It isn't a very good story, in fact it sucks.
but I have questions
maybe you can answer
so here it is..
I was visiting my daughter jillian in Berkeley and we were with another friend on our way to an evening of shared spiritual readings. I was looking forward to it as I had met the young hostess when she had just finished her 10 day silent meditation at a Vipassana Center near here. Her light was just amazing, she glowed, and I wanted to spend time with her again...
We parked and got out of the car with our grocery bag of salads and such to contribute to the potluck dinner...it was dark but early evening...traffic..but not a lot..Berkeley is very quiet in the evenings...
as I closed the door on the passenger side I hear...
I've been around guns most of my life, we live in the country..if that matters...
I knew the sound immediately...
I turned in the direction of the shots...and saw a male figure about 100 feet or so away...not a good judge but across the street...I saw him pointing his arm in the direction of a house and I saw fire coming from the gun he was holding....
this is real!
there was absolute silence and then more
pop, pop, pop
he's not done
at that moment a zillion thoughts went through my head...brain racing.
get the kids down
we need to get out of here
is this gang related
is there crossfire
is it random
did he see us
we need to stay put
we were crouched between two cars
and everything slowed down
there was silence again
then a flurry of shots..10 - 15 fast
is he done
is he coming this way
pop, pop, pop, pop again
then a final 3 shots and I knew...they were like the period at the end of a sentence..
and it was over.
Then the screaming began.
A woman crying....People started gathering on the sidewalk..
someone had seen him drive away
a news report..
We were on Emerson kitty corner of that A marker on at the corner of Shattuck Ave......
a major road through Berkeley...
Not a bad part of town...
working families, businesses..students
The shooting itself took a long time
went on as we got out of the car
huddled between the cars
Jillian found her cell phone
made the 911 call
waited a long time for someone to answer
she told the dispatcher what was going on and answered a lot of questions
at the end of the call and the shooting was still going on
the Shooter was fearless...I looked up over the car and watched him
he was not at all afraid to take his time
stand there on the sidewalk in full view and kill someone...that was a huge scarey realization...
he had a gun and was fearless.
During that time while all those thoughts were going through my mind the biggest one was that I would have to shield jillian...protect her should he make his get-a-way in our direction
or maybe he was on a shooting spree...and I didn't know for sure there was only one of them...
I didn't know
but I did know he would have to shoot me first.
poor Brian was on his own.
and even though I felt a fear like no other...it was not the shaky fear like stage fright or almost being in a car accident...it was solid...and big...something that filled my torso...it actually expanded.....then stayed there.
I thought I could die...that we all could.
But it didn't feel like I was afraid of that. Not scared.
maybe deep down I knew it wasn't my time.
or jillian's time
maybe it was sadness I felt...
I didn't want to be there...witness this violent act....
and maybe it was just the violent act itself that filled me.....
certainly you can't be witness to something like that and feel nothing.....
or maybe you can
I have told people about it...in Berkeley, and since I've been home.
A surprising number seemed to think it was nothing.
No surprise, no
"oh my God, you witnessed a murder...''
In some cases it could just be a lack of interest in me
but not in all...some of the people I told the story to are close to me.
I keep seeing his silhouette and the fire coming from his hand...
and thinking of the terror the people inside that house must have felt....
Wondering if there is a lesson here?
Wondering how that man knew he could stand there, out in the open and take his time killing a human being?
.....wondering if the people I talk to aren't surprised because violent death with a gun is so commonplace that it is almost expected???....
I wonder these things.......
Sometimes I would like to ask God why he allows poverty, suffering, and injustice when He could do something about it. But I’m afraid He would ask me the same question.
Posted by julie at 2/13/2012
I read my friend Snow's blog today....
I like to go there...he writes really, really, well...
I love his heart.
He posted about some things he loves...
and got me thinking...
I love the sun...especially on days like today...when the air is cold but if you can get in the right place the sun will warm you, make you feel golden. I love to dry my hair in the sun..
I love my dog Maia...she is a clown...a gentle giant of girl...afraid of the dark she is..I love how she pushes her weight into me, leans on me ever though she weighs more more than I do.... and how she sits on the couch with me. Butt on the cushion, back legs crossed at the ankle, and front legs on floor.......how she wiggles her whole body around me when she is happy and blocks my way when she doesn't want me to leave....how she dances and prances when she knows we are going for a walk or ride..and how patient she is with the little dogs that are part of her tribe...
My daughter's little Chihauhau really is nasty to Maia...
the other day I was looking up on the hill and here comes Maia, just running like the wind...with little Pickles hot on her trail.....
Maia would rather run than fight...
yet I know she would lay down her life for me.
and sometimes she likes to sit on me...my lap dog..
I love my friends, the ones who listen to my stories and share theirs...I love how they laugh at my jokes and my life, how they put up with my rants about the world and all it's injustices...they don't always agree but they listen, and still still let me hang out.
I love my spiritual sisters... the ones who hear it all...all my crazy stuff...listen to me cry as I ache for things out of my reach....one will listen and commiserate with me, then offers words that calm me and make me laugh...laughter really helps the energy to shift...
and then I'm ready to hear what she has to say from a higher perspective....and it always comes back to the fact that I am where I am today because of choices....good and bad...
but that doesn't mean I can't get up every day and make little choices that will help me get where I want to go...or to what I want to experience...and she tells me I am worthy...
and sometimes I need to hear that.
Some think life is not so much a place to seek personal happiness and fulfillment, julie, but rather a place to learn lessons and pay dues.
And so it is for them.
My art, I love that I can create something that someone else is touched by....I adore where is leads me...the people I meet...the things I am invited to do because of my Spirit Figures.
Music...gotta have it. It is the background of my life.
I was raised in the resort town of Clear Lake..
my parents were in the bar and restaurant business and my best friend's parents were too...We often had dinner while listening to someone singing a love song at the piano bar...and because we were cute we were encouraged to get out on the dance floor and dance to singers like Tennessee Ernie Ford...omg...I just realized he was my first concert...lol
My parents always had music playing at home and the pool where we swam had a jukebox...we kids were always begging for quarters so we could play our favorites...
my Aunt Sally turned me on to opera when I was 9.
I love the theater...musicals.
I came of age in the 60's and still love the music that talked about social injustice..
I sang along with Joan, Joni and Judy...
I danced to the Grateful Dead in Golden Gate Park and the jefferson Airplane, and Country joe McDonald.... I rocked to Cream and Traffic, Chicago, joe Cocker, Santana and Janis, B.B. King and johnny Winter at the Filmore and Winterland....
I never stopped listening to music...and I love all kinds..from country to Eastern, john Mayer and Adele, Train and Sarah McLaughlin...I love the blues and the soulful sound of artists like Etta James and Al Green and joss stone..oh, and Bonnie Raitt..
I dance to psychedelic trance most every night and relax to Native American flute music.....
Music can speak what my soul wants to say...I love it.
And I love ice cream...I don't want to...I know it's bad for me and it comes from poor diary cows who suffer so...oh god...
but I love it anyway.
It is my guilty pleasure.
I dream of two scoops of Mexican Chocolate from a little ice cream shop in Berkeley.
Posted by julie at 2/08/2012
if you have something to say
and you know deep in your belly that it needs to be heard
if you have something fresh to begin
and like a chick too large for its egg
it can no longer be contained
perhaps you have something to end once and for all,
something you have continued to engage in
even though it drains or suffocates you
let it go
do it today
if your deepest dreams were long ago placed on a shelf
reach up and dust them off,
reclaim them with love and unabashed ardor
and embrace them once again
if you have allowed yourself to be stuffed into boxes
too small for your grandeur
cut the strings that bind
and bust out so your spirit can fly free
if you are surrounded by disrespect and judgment
walk away from the part of yourself that continues
to attract this unwanted attention,
and realign yourself with the essence of who you truly are
if your heart and mind remain cluttered
if unfinished business cries out to you from every corner
if insistent voices within and without clack and clatter day and night
walk away into a provocative silence
do it today
if you feel lonely, dispossessed,
extend your hand to another in unconditional offering
and feel the quiet joy of connecting
if fear licks at you from every direction
find in yourself a slender pocket of contentment and rest there,
until fear slinks away under a cloud of disregard
if you are carrying pain and suffering for no other reason
than a twisted familiarity and the belief there can be no other way,
release the past and allow yourself to entertain new notions of self-acceptance
if forgiveness is needed,
give or receive it
if a modicum of kindness is required,
offer or accept it
in honor of the nuanced upwelling you cannot resist
for the love of all that you hold dear
for the quiet attainment of all you desire,
the lasting peace you so richly deserve
do it today